


Magic Trick

by Strikearose



Category: Bleach
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Byakuya is the GOAT, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, F/M, Ichiruki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strikearose/pseuds/Strikearose
Summary: How things get out of hand when a certain shinigami tries to reproduce a magic trick.In one word?Bunnies. Way too many of them.Silly IchiRuki story.
Relationships: Kuchiki Rukia & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Bunnies #1

**Author's Note:**

> This silly short story is divided into three parts which are all uploaded. English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any error you may find. I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

"Hey Rukia, have you seen my-"

Taken by surprise, the shinigami jolted and almost dropped the treasured item. However, she quickly got her act together when she recognized the red-haired human's voice and shot him a dirty look.

"Idiot," she frowned, ashamed to be caught red-handed, "Stop sneaking on me like that!"

"...cap?," Ichigo finally managed to complete his sentence.

His precious head-piece was in the left hand of the brunette who, with the other one, was frantically waving a strange accessory that seemed to be made of wood. Ichigo blinked, as if to make sure that the scene was real. Rukia took a deep breath and began counting from three to one... And turned to Ichigo, annoyed.

"Stop staring at me like that!"

The substitute shinigami's hazel eyes went from the woodwind instrument to the brunette - and back to his hat. He took a deep breath and began his questioning:

"What is that thing? What are you doing? Why am I the only one who thinks it's weird? And more importantly, why are you using MY cap?!"

Rukia didn't answer back, but her cheeks went bright brink.

...

_Wait, what?_

Ichigo suddenly panicked.

What kind of reaction was that? Rukia Kuchiki, like any self-respecting Kuchiki, never blushed. She could sometimes feel embarrassed - yeah, but the last time it had happened, she had promptly beaten him up. And then...- _what the_?

_Were those fucking stars in her eyes?!_

"Please, don't tell me it has something to do with Byakuya," he sighed, knowing too well where it was going.

"Nii-sama?," Rukia seemed surprised by the remark, any star definitely deserting her amethyst pupils. She shook her head and continued. "Well, yesterday in your moving picture box...-"

"You mean television, hey!" Ichigo immediately regretted he had cut her off - she kicked him in the ribs.

"So as I was saying, I saw an incredible man in there. He used these two things, did that," she mimicked the gesture, "and then, he pulled a rabbit out of his hat!"

Ichigo remained silent for a few moments.

What could he have said to her?

Nodding his head mechanically, the redhead thought that her naivety _almost_ made her look cute. And if he were to forget the fact that she had just broken his rib, she was even _adorable_.

"That makes sense for the cap, I guess you couldn't find anything else. Explain the rest now."

"Well, I talked to Urahara about it he gave me a discount on that magic wand after a lot of bargaining!", she then continued with a proud smile, "Given Nii-sama's rank, he even agreed to give me for free a spell."

The century-old girl was beaming, all happy and innocent. Ichigo felt bad for her: that damn merchant was a scam. He could see from where he was standing that that so-called magic wand was just a simple piece of wood, - it seemed surprisingly similar to those he found in his High School Park.

"I love magic too, lemme see what you're doing Rukia."

Ichigo managed to stifle a smile with great difficulty: even though he kind of felt bad for her, he wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world.

Rukia closed her eyes and concentrated.

_The suspense was at its peak._

"Pirika Pirilala!¹"

_What the..._

"Popolina Peperuto!"

There was no way - no. Even Urahara wouldn't have dare to do that.

Besides, she wasn't _that_ freaking gullible.

...

_Or was she?_

Ichigo finally gave in and burst out laughing. It wasn't necessarily directed at her, but seeing her do something so ridiculous with such seriousness - _it was truly too good_.

The shinigami felt her cheeks burning.

For some unknown reason, she had failed.

_And that red-haired peasant was openly mocking her._

"Stop laughing at me, you miserable fool!" Rukia shouted, her face reddened as she drew out her sword.

Ichigo instantly obeyed.

"Calm down, Rukia! It's nothing serious but you have to admit that you were...-"

"It's your fault, silly!," she cut him off, pointing her index finger at his chest.

"W-what?"

He was dumbfounded. Why the hell was she bringing him into this mess?

"You're giving off bad vibes, idiot! You're scaring away all my rabbits!"

The substitute shinigami frowned. He tightened his fists, refraining himself from kicking her out of his room. A thud reconnected him to reality - Rukia, now in shinigami outfit, had opened the window.

"I'm going back to SoulSociety, at least there the air is pure!"

Leaving him no time to reply, the young woman disappeared into the night.

* * *

¹ yes, the spell is taken from Magical Doremi ahah!


	2. Bunnies #2

"You're so sweet!"

"Don't listen to him, _Honey_ , you're so much softer!"

Ichigo froze on the spot. He could recognize these voices among anything: they belonged to Rukia and Renji.

Several questions rushed to his mind. What were they doing in his house - wasn't Urahara's store big enough to accommodate them? Well - Rukia had claimed her ownership over his closet for so long, that he could almost _tolerate_ her presence.

_But Renji's? Hell no._

And what was this "Honey"?!

" _Cara mia_! You are so...," Renji's voice was unusually, _insufferably_ , mellow.

"Renji!" Rukia sounded offended and the substitute shinigami almost burst out the door. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, I don't know. I-I'm not really used to it."

"Be softer!"

"Like this?"

"Less stiff! For God's sake," now, she sounded angry. "Relax! You're scaring her away."

"A-Am I doing it so bad?"

"Yes! Well, I suppose so. I-I don't know! This is my first time dealing with a real one."

"Seriously?," Renji seemed surprised. "I thought you had more experience. You're always talking about them so...-"

Ichigo arched an eyebrow. Then the other.

His eyes widened in horror.

The teenager's face went from white to red.

_Rukia. And. Renji._

No, no, NO.

It wasn't right.

They were _just childhood friends,_ there had never been and there will never be _anything_ between them - Renji had strangely felt compelled to assure him that _dozens of times_.

But well, Ichigo always had the unpleasant impression that the vice-captain was asking for more... _That damn traitor_.

_Fuck it_ \- Ichigo was in his own house. He was the master of his own room _and his own closet_.

With a quick gesture, the high schooler opened the door and came face to face with... a bunch of rabbits.

_Literal rabbits._

"Oh, Ichigo!" Rukia, sitting on his bed, welcomed him with a bright smile.

"It's about time you're here!," Renji turned towards him, a ball of white fur in his arms.

The substitute shinigami felt his jaw hit the ground. Well, on the brightest side, the relationship between Rukia and Renji had remained purely friendly.

On the other hand, however, he had just discovered the existence of his paranoia, voyeurism, and murderous impulses.

_And what were those rabbits_ _even_ _doing here?_

"Rukia...?"

The girl was startled. Her amethyst pupils landed on Renji, asking for help. He promptly looked away, choosing to cuddle his rabbit instead.

_That damn coward._

_He was going to pay for that later._

But for now, she had better things to do: justify the presence of these adorable little creatures. She thought for a moment to pretend that it was all part of some kind of mission. Who knows, these tiny little rabbits could very well be higher beings! Such as the reincarnation of ancestral lords, or better; pets belonging to the Seireitei's Great Nobility...

The Shinhouis worshiped cats, the Kuchikis appreciated the carps' serenity, so what if the Kyorakus were fervent admirers of bunnies?

A simple glance at the redhead was enough to give up on that idea.

_He was **mad**._

"Do you remember the magic trick I was taught?"

"You're trying to make be believe that you've miraculously succeeded? That the _pure air_ of Soul Society have disrupted your magic and that ten rabbits appeared all at once?"

Well, that answered her question. _He hadn't forget_.

Rukia chose not to address the sarcastic tone he had used for the sake of her own survival, as well as her cuties'.

"It's not _exactly_ that. Nii-sama had found it strange to see me return so early, so I told him all about that bunnies magic trick and...-"

"Wait...," he instantly cut her off while a _wonderful_ image was coming into his head.

"Don't tell me Byakuya also tried to recite that stupid spell and wave the wand like a maniac?!"

Ichigo would have gone into an uncontrollable frenzy of laughter if he wasn't in such a state of shock. Luckily for the orange-haired student, Rukia came to help by kicking him in the shin.

"Idiot, what are you imagining?! When I returned, I was almost immediately summoned by my division. Ukitake taicho wasn't feeling well so the magician's story totally slipped off my mind..."

There was a silence.

"Well... And then I came back to the mansion in the evening."

The shinigami arched an eyebrow. He was no longer feeling like laughing.

"I-I swear I have nothing to do with it. Nii sama simply wanted to try it himself..."

"So you're going to tell me that just because his name is _fucking Byakuya Kuchiki_ , fifteen rabbits appeared for him?!"

"I-I...", Rukia lowered her eyes and continued weakly. " _Infacttheyrenotfifteenbuttwentyone_."

...

"WHAT?"

"There are twenty-one of them, the others are in the closet."

* * *

_That's how Byakuya Kuchiki had declared war._


	3. Bunnies #3

"Let's start again from the beginning," the high school student sighed, already tired by what was going to come. "You watched TV, saw the classic _hat-trick_ , so naturally you decided to do the same."

She nodded shyly, not daring to look at him directly. Ichigo's voice was calm. Way too calm. And Renji - that bastard!, had abandoned her, claiming he had to go shopping at the grocery store.

She'd definitely make him pay the price of his cowardice later.

"So you went to Urahara's," he continued, slumping on his bed. "He gave you a _super-magic-wand_ and a _super-magic-spell.._. A _super-magic-spell_ bearing a _striking resemblance_ to an old anime..."

"Oh, I didn't know that!"

Her amethyst eyes widened and her mouth took the shape of a perfect o. She liked how the spell sounded; who knows, maybe she could ask Ichigo once he'll have calm down if she could watch the show?

Part of Ichigo couldn't help but find this reaction adorable - well _, almost_ adorable. If the shinigami was starting to use her puppy-eyes on him, _again_ , his anger wasn't going to last long.

But he couldn't crack, otherwise this _closet squatter_ would end up transforming his room into a real animal shelter for sure!

"Let's move on, you then searched through my stuff, but as you couldn't find anything else, you stole my favorite cap."

Rukia nodded.

"You made several tests in my bedroom - including one in front of me. "But it was only after an **epic failure** that you decided to return to Soul Society, hoping for some kind of miracle..."

"Well, I suppose we can..-" the brunette tried to defend herself and scratched her cheek, embarrassed.

"Then, of course, you told Byakuya everything," he cut her off, "but, because of an emergency, you had to leave everything behind. Just in front of him."

She frowned. She _really_ didn't like where the discussion was going. This miserable beggar wouldn't possibly dare insinuating something like that, would he?

"And then, finally, when you came back, **they** were all here. But there was no exhibit."

"Exhibit?"

"So, what did the suspect tell you in his defense?"

_That's it. The word was out._

"Suspect?," Rukia looked absolutely outraged. "Peasant! How dare you speak of Nii-sama like that?! H-He.."

The young woman seemed to hesitate for a moment, weighing the pros and cons.

"He said they were _for me_."

The substitute shinigami didn't like the way her cheeks reddened and her eyes lighten up.

_He really didn't._

Not that he was jealous - _no_.

 _What a stupid idea_.

"... And that I had to bring them here, in Karakura," Rukia continued quickly, taking advantage of her friend's sudden rigidity. "You see, the Seireitei's atmosphere is different from here, we can't control it for sure. Shinigamis are not affected by that, that's true, but it might not be the same for tiny little bunnies!"

The brunette's pout almost moved him - _almost_.

After all, she hadn't meant any harm and could never have guessed that things would eventually get _that_ out of hand...

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. Was he being too harsh on her?

"Well, in short, we're counting on you to take care of them!" Renji's voice, _he had just reappeared from god knows where_ , sent him back to reality.

"I'll come visit as often as I can, I promise!" the brunette added with a bright smile, "I trust you, Ichigo... So don't disappoint me!"

A vein suddenly popped on his temple. _This damn actress..._

"Hey," he roared, "do you seriously think you're in a position to ask me anything?! There's no way I'm taking care of all those rabbits! And even if I wanted to, I couldn't keep them. There's _way_ too many of them!"

The two vice captains looked at each other in silence. He was right, they knew it.

"But then... what are we going to do with them?"

"Well," Ichigo, caught off guard, hesitated for a moment. "Why don't we simply send back to the sender?"

He didn't like being taken for a fool. And by selling this thing to Rukia, Urahara had _indirectly_ swindled him, too.

"Ahah... Sorry, Kurosaki-kun~"

Surprised, the three of them turned around, coming face to face with Kisuke Urahara, who had been standing by the window for quite some time now. As usual, a green-striped bob was hiding the top of his face as well as - without a shadow of a doubt - **a very amused** look. Ichigo was about to rush towards him when he was cut off by another soliloquy.

"As stipulated in the contract signed with miss Kuchiki, I cannot to take these charming little creatures back," Kisuke, savoring this long-awaited moment, was talking in the most hypocritical tone he could. "Oh, judging by your face, I assume that you weren't aware of that condition Miss Kuchiki... I'm truly sorry."

Urahara made sure to hide his smile with his fan. Renji, still in chock, seemed to have remained at the "since when is he here?" stage, while Ichigo and Rukia, for once unanimous, looked at the blond man with anger.

"However, I'll have to contradict what your brother told you : these bunnies will have no problem acclimating to the Seireitei's aura. Well, business calls. I look forward to seeing you again in my humble shop!"

Kisuke was about to go when a something caught his attention.

"Oh, how touching! Kurosaki kun, it seems that a rabbit has already adopted you!"

Ichigo couldn't even answer him - Urahara had disappeared. _What a damn crook!_

_Oh._

A smile suddenly appeared on his face. For once, he was almost happy of the merchant's visit.

"Good, problem's solved! They're all going back to Byakuya! You'll be able to see them everyday."

"FOUL!," Rukia had just broken her friends's eardrums. "There's no way I can impose on Nii-sama like that! And what if he contracts an allergy to their fur?!"

Ichigo's indulgence - as well as the whiff of affection - towards the brunette vanished immediately.

So, the midget didn't give a damn about what could happen to _him_?!

And, even worse than that, she was chanting it _openly_.

"Rukia, you have five minutes to take ALL of them back and disappear, or I swear to god I'll do it myself!"

In shock, she opened and closed her mouth, like a fish out of water.

Those poor creatures were so adorable...

What a _heartless monster_!

And to think that a cute bunny was rubbing on his leg, demanding his attention... He didn't deserve any of them.

The brunette shook her head - now was not the time to fight back! She would have plenty opportunities for revenge in the future : first, she had to ensure her charming little rodents' safety.

Ichigo sighed with relief when he saw Rukia heading towards the closet. She took her cuties into her arms, whispering sweet words to them - if looks could kill, the Kurosaki wouldn't have survived that night.

The orange-haired student rolled his eyes to heaven and was about to leave his room when he felt a heavy weight on his leg.

That's when he noticed it.

 _Finally_.

It was a medium-sized bunny. It looked angora : it's fluffy ginger coat was making him look more like a giant ball of fur than a rodent. Its' little black eyes blinked in surprise as Ichigo put his hand on his head.

_It was so freaking soft._

Ichigo's fingers moved down his muzzle and slowly brushed against the animal's thin whiskers.

**_And then - suddenly, he screamed in pain._ **

That damn bastard had just bitten him with full teeth. He could have swear he saw a sadistic smile on the bunny's face before it turned its' back and started to gambol happily on his bed.

"Oh, I see you've met Ichigo!"

Rukia was watching him and, judging by her bright smile, hadn't missed anything from the scene. Wait - ' _Ichigo_?' It took him a few minutes to realize.

"Ichigo?," he looked at her, surprised. "You named that rabbit after me?"

"Yes, Renji wanted to give them an exotic name - well, in fact he's the one who named almost all of them. But for this one, it was Nii sama's idea!"

"Huh? Byakuya did that?"

The brunette shrugged and returned to the closet, leaving the student in the greatest disbelief. It was finally Renji who put an end to the mystery:

"' _The endless arrogance as well as the total lack of respect shown by this rabbit reminds me of Kurosaki Ichigo's idiotic and reckless character_ ', that's what captain said."

* * *

_That's how Byakuya Kuchiki had won the war._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. I really hope you guys enjoyed this silly story. Please feel free to make me know what you thought about it!


End file.
